I See You

I see you

sitting in the quiet

with the gaping open doors

and empty rooms

with your eyes

turned inward, wishing

for the sound of feet in the hall

or a door closing

or the echo of a laugh

I see you 

huddled in your room

waiting for the storm to pass

the fight that never ends

outside, as you plug your ears

and hum to yourself, hoping

for the morning to erase

your tears, fear making a 

tangled knot of your heart

I see you

pulling out your hair

as the anxious panic

rises as if to drown 

your sanity, up to your eyes

in saltwater, waiting for air

your eyes turned upward toward

the light dimly appearing

over the horizon

I see you

aching for a friendly ear,

a gentle voice, the hum 

of conversation, the buzz

of business as you wait

for what you see as life

to re-emerge from hibernation

I see you 

hanging on for dear life

as children, pets, laundry,

meals, working-from-home,

Zoom calls, bills, a husband,

a to-do list... loom before you,

ever-present, needy, wanting

more of you— the more you

do not have.

I see you

But do you see me?

I’m waiting. I’m here.

See my hand?

It’s already out.

You don’t even have to 

call loudly for me. 

Just whisper,

“I’m ready.”

I’ll hold you 

when no one else can.

Talk to me.

I’m a friendly ear,

a gentle voice.

I’ll be with you 

when no one else can

and always.

Fixing Our Eyes

“What are those things the horses have by their eyes?” I asked my mom, pointing to the small black squares of leather by the draft horses’ eyes. It looked like they wouldn’t be able to see anything with those on!

“Those are called blinders.” She explained they were to help keep the horses from getting distracted or spooked by whatever entered their peripheral vision.

This visual from childhood has stuck with me. I’ve used it as an example to students of how to keep their focus and “get in the zone” while working. I demonstrate blinders with my hands, telling them they can put up their hoods, sit facing a wall, put in earbuds, or whatever helps them concentrate on their work. After reading more about these blinders, I have come to see an even broader and deeper significance to them.

According to Dallas Equestrian Center, the fact that horses' eyes sit on the sides of their heads indicates they are hunted in the wild; otherwise, as hunters, their eyes would be in front, like cats. Their strong peripheral vision enables them to see and quickly flee from predators. For domesticated horses, this means they "can end up running off course unless they are made to remain focused,” as the “flight” reflex will kick in if any perceived danger enters their vision. Blinders are especially important for race horses and those pulling carts, carriages, wagons, or plows, who must “keep their eyes focused on what is ahead, rather than what is at the side or behind,” not only for speed’s sake, but also for the safety of the horse and its rider or load. (http://www.dallasequestriancenter.com/why-do-horses-wear-blinders/)

Covering all or part of the horse’s vision may thus help a horse trust its leader and “take chances it would not normally take.” The story goes that the inventor of blinders was a preacher who bet his friends he could get his horse to walk up the stairs of his house. The horse did easily, but then it would not return down. When the preacher covered the horse’s head, however, he was able to lead the horse back down the stairs. (Dallas Equestrian Center)

This reminds me of the story of Peter in Matthew 14. During the night, he was crossing a lake with the other disciples, while Jesus stayed behind to pray on the mountainside. “The boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it,” when they saw a man walking on the water toward them. They were overtaken with fear, believing him to be a ghost.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. (v. 26-29)

But Peter had no blinders. “When he saw the wind,” the danger in his peripheral vision, the risk he was taking, took his focus, incurring fear that overtook his trust in the Savior. He began to sink, so he cried out, “Lord, save me!” (v. 30)

Peter cried out for salvation after losing faith in its pre-existence. He did not trust that Jesus’ calling him to come had already confirmed Peter’s safety, all the way to Jesus. He allowed the perceived danger, the trial, the trouble, to take his gaze. The story continues:

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (v. 31)

Peter doubted because he did not fix his eyes on Jesus and only Him, but allowed himself to be distracted and pulled off course by the dangers in his peripheral vision. Of “fixing your eyes,” MacmillanDictionary.com states, “If you fix your eyes or your attention on someone or something, you look straight at them and at nothing else.” In other words, you look forward with “blinders” on. Peter forgot his blinders. Blinders do not eliminate danger, enemies, or trouble; blinders remove your view of them. As Proverbs 4:25 (NLT) advises, “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.” If Jesus is front and center in your vision, He is “what lies before you” and nothing else can take His place. To conclude the story:

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” (v. 32)

The other disciples did not have the faith to step out of the boat. They did not even seem to fully believe in Jesus as the Son of God until they had seen His power, not only to walk on water, but also to calm the wind. They trusted in their own eyes, in what they could see, rather than the truth of His Word, the unseen. Unlike them, let us “fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV).

Our salvation is not dependent on our asking Christ to save us. He has already done this. Our ability to walk upon the water, with our eyes fixed ahead and blinders on to the predators and risks, is dependent upon our trust that He has already won, has already saved us, and will not forsake us. Psalm 16:8 (NIV) confirms: “I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

And then peace. As prayed in Isaiah 26:3 (ESV), “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”

How do we stay our minds on Christ? How do we put on those blinders of faith and see Him through all the distraction, temptation, confusion, argument, pain, and anything else that rises up to tell us we are in trouble? How do we see Him always as enough? As Savior before we even need ask? How do we follow Him, “blindly,” trusting Him to see beyond what our naked eyes see, to the unseen, eternal Truth?

First, read, meditate on, and store up in your heart His Word, His commandments, His Truth, and submit your ways to the path of this Truth. Consider the following passage:

Psalm 119:5-6, 9-16

Oh that my ways may be steadfast

  in keeping your statutes!

Then I shall not be put to shame,

  having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.

How can a young man keep his way pure?

   By guarding it according to your word.

With my whole heart I seek you;

let me not wander from your commandments!

I have stored up your word in my heart,

   that I might not sin against you.

Blessed are you, O Lord;

  teach me your statutes!

With my lips I declare

   all the rules[c] of your mouth.

In the way of your testimonies I delight

   as much as in all riches.

I will meditate on your precepts

    and fix my eyes on your ways.

I will delight in your statutes;

   I will not forget your word.

Furthermore, open your heart to God, speak to Him, and listen for His voice. Fix your eyes on Jesus, “the author and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 12:2 NASB). Look straight at Him and His Word and nothing else.

Pray. Before doubting or becoming nervous about any situation, “fix your thoughts on Jesus” (Hebrews 3:1 NIV) and lay it before God. Then “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6 ESV).

Consider fasting. This is a way to put on the “blinders” to distractions, temptations, addictions, or even “needs” that can pull our vision from the “All-We-Need” embodied— Jesus.

In the words of an old song,

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace. (Helen H. Limmel, 1922)

Walk to Him, not looking down, to the side, or behind. Only forward.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Teachers

  "The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth." --Dan Rather

Every moment I have with students is a crucial one.

I have the chance to inspire or cut them down,

to open eyes to potential or dim them with shortcomings,

to help them see their uniqueness or make them feel they don’t belong.

I must choose whether

to react in anger or respond with gentleness,

to raise my voice in frustration or speak with conviction and truth,

perhaps in contradiction to their belief: "You can do this. Let me help."

The teacher must decide to find a new way

if the other is not working,

and try again and again and again...

A teacher’s job is different from any other

because, in order to be effective, it requires

the teacher to get buy-in, not compliance.

Teachers are not “bosses” who can just give orders,

for students will not learn from someone they do not like

or from someone they think does not like them.

Teachers must have compassion and love

for those they teach,

and an insatiable desire to

not only fill a head with knowledge

and equip hands with skills,

but even more so,

to enlighten, to empower,

light a fire within

to learn and grow and

change the world.

That’s what teachers are for.

Where I'm From

I am from the journals I wrote in almost every night.

From Korn Kurls and Coppertone.

I am from the twenty-two different homes I've lived in,

including the house at the end of the road with the line of Spruce trees in front—

the warm home painted blue with red doors and red brick.

I am from the tree I sat and read books in as a child, looking out over the wetlands behind,

and from the giant red oak tree in my backyard, begging to hold a treehouse for my kids.

I’m from pumpkin patches, Christmas trees and carols, laughter, movies, and games.

From Stuebes, Simantels, Dad’s adoption, and marriage.

From wagging black labs and a golden retriever, and cats that curl up on my lap.

I’m from the exploring of new places and sitting in coffee shops, chatting about life’s mysteries.

I am from “serve one another in love” and “love your neighbor as yourself.”

I'm from Christianity, from a Lutheran Reverend to Charismatic Revival and the in-between.

I’m from Forest Grove, Oregon, and a birth center that no longer exists.

I’m from Hillsboro and saying “Hi” to Harvey, the perpetually-waving rabbit-man;

from rejoicing in the reunion of the A&W family by the pool;

and from watching the carving of the Indian Chief who stands decaying in the park, soon to be brought down.

I am from England, Ireland, Scotland, and Germany— from lines on my Ancestry.com family tree.

I’m from Veracruz, Mexico— from tacos al pastor, music on decorated buses, whitewashed palm trees, morning downpours, and heat, heat, heat.

I’m from German pancakes, pizza, and ice-cream.

From camping trips, forest hikes, the Oregon Coast— places like Haystack Rock, Hug Point, the Octopus Tree, the Oceanside tunnel, and new discoveries, like University Falls.

I’m from the time I was left at Burger King— and a Kids’ Meal and crown were bestowed upon me, I was shown to the "government's quarters," and employees served as my companions-in-waiting.

From talks on road trips while children sleep.

From the separation and closeness of family.

From shouts, inside jokes, and movie quotes.

I am from photo albums on the shelf full of memories

and the digital images stored in a cloud,

preserving for future generations—new growth on the old trees—

some of the best moments of our lives.

Based on the following template and original poem by George Ella Lyon found at: http://www.sausd.us/cms/lib5/CA01000471/Centricity/Domain/3043/I%20Am%20From%20Poem.pdf